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Astonishing X-Men wraps up its first
year - and I use the term loosely, since it's running
hopelessly late - with the final part of "Dangerous."
And boy, that did nothing to restore my interest in the
book.
The official line on Astonishing X-Men
is that it's the most wonderful thing ever. I rather
think not. At its best, Astonishing has been a
technically excellent superhero book revisiting some of the
key ideas of the book. The Cure was an interesting
idea that hit some of the X-books' core themes.
Bringing back Colossus... well, it made for a nice moment,
although the follow-through left a lot to be desired.
"Dangerous", though... this is weak.
The core idea here is that the Danger Room was sentient all
along and is out for revenge on Professor X. This
issue finally gets around to explaining why Danger is so
angry - Professor X knew it was sentient but just left it
there. I'm in two minds about that idea. Xavier
has been a bit of a git at times, but fundamentally the
character is a bleeding heart. The idea of him simply
keeping the Danger Room as an unwilling prisoner seems
wildly out of character. It makes for a good scene
with Colossus, but would Xavier really do such a thing?
The story just doesn't convince me. Xavier needs a far
better motivation than "my teams needed to be prepared
whatever the cost" if we're to accept that he truly sees
this as a necessary sacrifice for the greater good.
Besides, on the more mundane plotting
level, if Xavier can sense the Danger Room's mind, why
couldn't any of the many, many other telepaths who've been
through the building over the years that it's supposedly
been trapped there?
Back at his Emma Frost subplot, Whedon
reveals that she's been in league with the Hellfire Club -
or rather, yet another version of it, because there's a
completely different line-up over in Claremont's book - all
along. I suspect she's probably faking, since if she
isn't it'll be a drearily boring story, not to mention one
that wouldn't make any sense. (Surely Phoenix would
have noticed, for example.) But even so, I can't
summon up much enthusiasm for this story. Even as a
feint, it's teasing a story that sounds utterly tedious.
Does that make me interested to see where this is going?
No, not really, other than to hope that this isn't going to
be another exercise in riding roughshod over other people's
stories for the hell of it. Beyond that, I frankly
don't care. Of all the things that Emma's secret could
have been, what could possibly be less inspired than "she's
a villain after all"?
On the upside... it's very pretty.
John Cassaday could illustrate the phone directory and it
would get at least a B-. But god, Xavier fighting his
robot spawn for six issues is just not interesting.
This is a concept that merits three or four issues at the
most, stretched far beyond its natural lifespan. Some
good moments and some gorgeous art can't make up for an
extremely weak premise, a story littered with plot holes,
and an utterly uninspiring direction. Thoroughly
disappointing.
Rating: B-
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